johnny mathis' feet

i lay all my sorrows at...

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the problem with recording your life online is that eventually you re-read yourself. kinda sux, but at least i still have a sense of humor about it. even reading it i remembered the sly grin of sarcasm looking back at me in the monitor.

growing up

looking for a place to live

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four to six wee, oh, i mean months. everyone wants their piece of the pie. bite me.

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somehow feel like i should see about these other "opportunities". a couple people came to me the day after the fire and said that they wouldn't mind having me on board. this is just from talking to folk, no resume or anything. very surprised yet encouraged at the same time.

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and to think last year i had nothing and was applying for this job. silly me.

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as much as i want to do something, insurance actually kicked in: i still get paid full salary while we reconstruct the mighty RiRa. no shit. it boggles my mind. walking thru the broken glass on my first floor, looking at what used to be my prep kitchen, i can't believe it.

as one person put it, How do you do this?

burnin' down the house

6:34 a.m.--two ring call from my GM. no message, so i figure a misdial.

10:15 a.m.--fire, etc. shit happens. but apparently one should never throw smoldering cigarette butts in the office trash can placed outside the office.

Saturday morning--this sux.

Sunday morning--regroup, re-evaluate. not that bad.

this is where we skip everything. idiocy, false promises, etc.

Thursday, 6:35 p.m.--it's gonna be 4-6...months. WTF. that long to open up? WTF! that long to deal with paperwork that will probably be done next week. WTF?

Friday, 9:25 a.m.--i told you conference calls were a waste of time...let me know when we're done.

teenage angst has paid off well

now I'm bored and old.

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the first day back is always the hardest. you know things are going to be fucked up, it's nothing but a disaster, and in my case you are waiting for word from corporate on what they are going to do abut the fact that you are running a kitchen 7/24 with no days off.

in other words, are they getting off their ass and growing a pair or just going to do what feels comfortable?

i found out today that hard work, a determination to make numbers look good, and the effort to never run out of food is rewarded with your bar manager being given the position you work for every day. i wonder why i try sometimes, but then i'm reminded that he has the next two days off and i'm left picking up the pieces of complete stupidity and idiocy (my coolers are a wreck, ordering is abysimal, and frankly, every single one of the the staff knows that i am the Exec, acting or otherwise).

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i had an offer from my old corperate chef last Friday...move to Evansville, IN. be my AKM, you'll have your own place in a year.

it's tempting but i'm tired of moving. as much as i need to stop dealing with the above stupidity in my own company, i'm also tired of moving. if i'm gonna move it's gonna be to LA, LV, or NYC, and most probably the latter. Madison was my best worst decision, Charlotte was my best decision, but i need to move lateral not horizontal.

tired of this shit.

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as an aside, i think this title fits the content. thx jad

i know for sure you'll never be the one

so much to do, so little time. i need to travel, next weekend, flights are out of the picture ($350, really?) and i find that round trip Amtrak is $266. seriously. yeah, i sit for 12-13 hours, but i'm there. cheaper than air, car, and everything else. crazy. and i can hop in a cab, go to Grand Central, and catch a train up to upstate!?! is this really the 21st century?

i get a wedding, time with family, and a long lost chef all at the same time. in NYC. i might even be a tourist and do the boat to Ellis Is.

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i had my yearly review one month early yesterday. brutal, harsh, i was prepared yet not. you never are, especially when you're the one going through this whole routine and the whole purpose is for is the job you've been doing for the past five months. the thing that sucks is that i shot myself in the foot by proving that they only need one guy (me). choice between me running it and letting one to two people go, if i have someone hired...i'll just do it all. but give me some kind of compenstation.

tired. fuck it.

three days

i'm finding it difficult to get a decent nite's sleep. i wake at odd hours, energized but nowhere to displace it. my day always begins at 11, but beforehand i can't do anything aside from prepare for it. my days "off" are centered around sleep and taking care of life, which doesn't amount to much.

trying to plan for this week i have off, yet i discover that because we were voted best pub here in Charlotte one of my allocated days happens to be the big shindig with the public. yes, i'm working on my vacation.

i'm still yet to get a flight, make any kind of arrangements. hell, i don't even have a decent tie or shirt. this is just a fiascoe.

oh. i also get to sit down with my AD and GM this thursday so i can tell them why i deserve the job that i've been doing since i came here. the good times just keep a'rollin'