time
and then one day you find, ten years have got behind you...
*
here in Evansville, IN. my old chef who i had dinner with tonite said "Dayton" and it finally made sense. no matter where i go anymore, i've reached the point where it reminds me of somewhere else. i ended up manning the grill for the meat and tuna tonite too, which is always his way of saying "fuck you but you're all right."
*
had my hair cut today, did some stuff around a town i feel like i know but i don't. email from my AD says i'm going back to DC, firing a few people, trying to rebuild a store and market in Arlington. sucks. i like those guys, and it's hard to be the bad guy when you think the wrong thing is happening. we'll see.
my step-niece (is there a such thing?) looked me up on FB...gonna do the whole dinner thing, etc. i'm hoping it's gonna be good, my brother says he's back on good terms with her and she says the same, but...i really wish this year of reconnections and relations would end.
i know i should be talking about life in the fast lane with the restaurant here, and that's what it was at first, but life's idiocies tend to take over. i could talk about how fucked up the food inventory is wherever i go, or how they don't follow recipes, or how a culinary grad does't know how to cool food properly...but it gets tiresome, it stresses me out, it makes me want to slap people silly.
so instead, i'll forget about it for a second, and say that it was nice to have a home cooked meal. i spent this evening with a previous chef of mine, someone i like and even after only working with him daily only three months he invited me over for Turkey Day. i turned that down for the honor of going back to Pittsburgh so i could get dumped by my girlfriend on my 30th. hindesight.
*
i get this message, yesterday, and i know it's not serious, but it made me think: what if i could get out of this. it's not that i hate it, not anything like that, but i see myself in the guy who i've looked up to these past several years, and even he is saying "if only..."
"i can't do this when i'm 55"
i'm 34 this year. no kids (knock on wood). i have decent business connections. i maintain contact with three out of probably a thousand people i've worked with, simply because they are the only three who continue to prove themselves.
i like my job right now. i get to travel around, see how fucked up everything is, and try to fix it in a matter of days with the knowledge that as soon as i leave everything reverts to what it was before me. it gets old, unfortunately. you want to make an impact, a few days, some bright faces when you say that this is how it needs to be, but all for nothing.
*
i know i quoted this before, but, whatever:
"I'm a little lonely these days."
*
"no one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun."
segue into a Dave Gilmor solo
*
here in Evansville, IN. my old chef who i had dinner with tonite said "Dayton" and it finally made sense. no matter where i go anymore, i've reached the point where it reminds me of somewhere else. i ended up manning the grill for the meat and tuna tonite too, which is always his way of saying "fuck you but you're all right."
*
had my hair cut today, did some stuff around a town i feel like i know but i don't. email from my AD says i'm going back to DC, firing a few people, trying to rebuild a store and market in Arlington. sucks. i like those guys, and it's hard to be the bad guy when you think the wrong thing is happening. we'll see.
my step-niece (is there a such thing?) looked me up on FB...gonna do the whole dinner thing, etc. i'm hoping it's gonna be good, my brother says he's back on good terms with her and she says the same, but...i really wish this year of reconnections and relations would end.
i know i should be talking about life in the fast lane with the restaurant here, and that's what it was at first, but life's idiocies tend to take over. i could talk about how fucked up the food inventory is wherever i go, or how they don't follow recipes, or how a culinary grad does't know how to cool food properly...but it gets tiresome, it stresses me out, it makes me want to slap people silly.
so instead, i'll forget about it for a second, and say that it was nice to have a home cooked meal. i spent this evening with a previous chef of mine, someone i like and even after only working with him daily only three months he invited me over for Turkey Day. i turned that down for the honor of going back to Pittsburgh so i could get dumped by my girlfriend on my 30th. hindesight.
*
i get this message, yesterday, and i know it's not serious, but it made me think: what if i could get out of this. it's not that i hate it, not anything like that, but i see myself in the guy who i've looked up to these past several years, and even he is saying "if only..."
"i can't do this when i'm 55"
i'm 34 this year. no kids (knock on wood). i have decent business connections. i maintain contact with three out of probably a thousand people i've worked with, simply because they are the only three who continue to prove themselves.
i like my job right now. i get to travel around, see how fucked up everything is, and try to fix it in a matter of days with the knowledge that as soon as i leave everything reverts to what it was before me. it gets old, unfortunately. you want to make an impact, a few days, some bright faces when you say that this is how it needs to be, but all for nothing.
*
i know i quoted this before, but, whatever:
"I'm a little lonely these days."
*
"no one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun."
segue into a Dave Gilmor solo
posted by jersn at 2:45 AM
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