when the levee breaks
talked with my DoO, Greg Jones earlier tonight. they want me to skip the Westlake opening and just go straight to Madison. talking with various people tonight i find that all they want is for me to move on, which i really appreciate. at the same time i was anticpating doing this opening and then doing Madison, but...situations have steamrolled so quickly the past couple days that i'm not sure about anything, other than the fact that i want to get out of Pittsburgh as soon as possible. so i guess this is a good thing.
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came home tonight to find the girl still in bed, and it made me think about us, seriously, for once. we've been having some true heart-to-heart conversations the past week and i've always bypassed the serious issues by relaying a story about my past where i was i a similar situation. the truth of the matter is that i really don't know how i feel about her, even after all these months (coming up on ten, which is always a bad number for me). i feel like we have a lot to learn from each other, and that we really connect in ways i'd never expect, but at the same time i don't know how to give up my independence. granted that won't be an issue later, but at the same time i did bring this up, that i probably will be moving, but she was still gung-ho about us finally deciding to be exclusive to each other.
so strange. i want her to be here right now but at the same time i don't. maybe that's what it is: i'm not good at sharing my space.
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it's raining now, and i recognize these sounds because of my windows. what does rain sound like in Wisconsin?
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came home tonight to find the girl still in bed, and it made me think about us, seriously, for once. we've been having some true heart-to-heart conversations the past week and i've always bypassed the serious issues by relaying a story about my past where i was i a similar situation. the truth of the matter is that i really don't know how i feel about her, even after all these months (coming up on ten, which is always a bad number for me). i feel like we have a lot to learn from each other, and that we really connect in ways i'd never expect, but at the same time i don't know how to give up my independence. granted that won't be an issue later, but at the same time i did bring this up, that i probably will be moving, but she was still gung-ho about us finally deciding to be exclusive to each other.
so strange. i want her to be here right now but at the same time i don't. maybe that's what it is: i'm not good at sharing my space.
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it's raining now, and i recognize these sounds because of my windows. what does rain sound like in Wisconsin?
posted by jersn at 6:13 AM
5 Comments:
rain sounds sad, like the end of everything, on Jenifer Street.
in DC it sounds like disappointment.
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In SOMD, it's worse than sadness, or disappointment: the sound of failure is hardest of all.
In Savannah, it sounds like rain, falling on roofs with no gutters and coastal pines that hold no water.
At 1905 it sounds like defeat. But there is hope. Stop tearing yourself down thinking about Parkview, you idiot.
At some point you have to stop leaving notes for yourself. Remember that clock that you stored away those single notes to yourself? Where is it now? Get over it, you are forty fucking years old. You are old enough to remember your fathers fortieth birthday (remember that cake?). You have no kids. No semblance of real life. Get the fuck over it and move on. Stop thinking about 1998.
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