You missed when time and life shook hands and said goodbye
I'm nearly 48 hours removed from the call.
It's 9/11. Ten years later and all that has changed is the scenery.
It was easy dealing with unemployment. Still jobless, but at least I'm on the govmn't dole now. Sad, but not as bad as the conversation where she said that there is no way we can ever talk or see each other again.
*
Friday was great. Got my shit back together, money in the bank, talked to numerous friends and family, everything was working my way for the first time in weeks. And like a bad sitcom the crap was saved for last.
Talking to her was the best and worst all at once. And then I had an interview the next day. And before that I spoke with a headhunter on my way to that interview. And I slept maybe three hours that night.
Two days later and I didn't sleep last night. Maybe two hours. And I don't care. Beyond caring. Beyond feeling. The last time I was the one breaking the relationship up was 2004. Since then it's always been me being dumped. Dropped. Whatever.
My sister actually thought that I was considering suicide the last time. I wasn't. And she at least gave me a laugh for saying so. But this time...It's never an option, but that doesn't mean I don't entertain the thought just to keep me awake.
*
I will fully admit that I shed a few tears because of how the idiocy with Pam went down. I'm yet to figure out if I'm hurting or belong myself by not letting it out the same way with Laura.
I won't cry. Fuck you.
It's 9/11. Ten years later and all that has changed is the scenery.
It was easy dealing with unemployment. Still jobless, but at least I'm on the govmn't dole now. Sad, but not as bad as the conversation where she said that there is no way we can ever talk or see each other again.
*
Friday was great. Got my shit back together, money in the bank, talked to numerous friends and family, everything was working my way for the first time in weeks. And like a bad sitcom the crap was saved for last.
Talking to her was the best and worst all at once. And then I had an interview the next day. And before that I spoke with a headhunter on my way to that interview. And I slept maybe three hours that night.
Two days later and I didn't sleep last night. Maybe two hours. And I don't care. Beyond caring. Beyond feeling. The last time I was the one breaking the relationship up was 2004. Since then it's always been me being dumped. Dropped. Whatever.
My sister actually thought that I was considering suicide the last time. I wasn't. And she at least gave me a laugh for saying so. But this time...It's never an option, but that doesn't mean I don't entertain the thought just to keep me awake.
*
I will fully admit that I shed a few tears because of how the idiocy with Pam went down. I'm yet to figure out if I'm hurting or belong myself by not letting it out the same way with Laura.
I won't cry. Fuck you.
posted by jersn at 11:59 AM
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