reach out

touch faith.

*

I have a chunk of pizza logged between the 7 and 8 key.  between all this I have a GM starting a new job today, a friend who I've never met facing life idiocy, it's 6:50 a.m., I'm only on page four, my aunt is facing the death of her husband, and I'm looking to move into her house.

That chunk is merely a crumb.  It happens.  but still a pain.  tilting keyboard in 5....

It's the little things.

*

so.

*

I have a minor plan.  The friend facing life idiocy, it's brain and neck cancer.

I feel stupid for doing nothing but looking for jobs the last few months.  At the same time, it has given me a minor goal, in that I need to do the Badlands one more time.  I've also become highly critical of all the stupidity on the web.  The backlash is coming, and while we may all may remain connected, I think that what we all brought upon ourself may just end up making us realize that the print word isn't such a bad thing.

*

I'm getting old.  I reach out to the family that hasn't always been there, while ignoring those that are close.  I used to know what I was doing.  Nothing better than facing your late 30's and still thinking you are a viable body in the workforce.  I've already come to the conclusion that I'm back on the line as an hourly worker.  Again.  It happens, but I've been out of the workforce for too long.  I have no idea what's going on.

*

I miss her.  I really miss her.  I know I've never been the right guy but Goddamn. i miss her.

i know i fucked up.  and it has nothing to do with work or her or anything but fuck all i want is just just come back up that metro and walk down to her door and just be with her.