but there was something about you

and i still feel lost sometimes. purpose, focus, goals, direction, all these things are wandering around but have yet to grow roots. i look back at where i was four, five months ago and am scratching my head.

i found myself talking with one of the servers tonight, triple major in psych, chem, and nursing. discussed the usual bs, but then, as i know she's been with her boy a while, she asks if i'm married.

i've dealt with this before here, everyone who doesn't know about this idiocy thinks i'm married, which is why i don't go out. at all. i gave her the very abbreviated version, but i feel bad because...i don't know how to deal with people anymore. i had to start walking away, because it still hurts, and while i'm sure she's just conversing, i feel like i'm intruding.

just want to be numb.