this time is closer
and somehow, now, it's not what i wanted.
*
This isn't real life, I keep thinking to myself when I wake up every day. It seems strange to find myself in a place I never really thought about, ever. Working, liking to think I'm making a difference in some peoples lives when I can. Being a viable part of the economy.
I have random talks with my aunt, generally concerning how I feel I'm at the make or break point of life: I could continue down this path, and realistically, if I plan properly and the business I'm with continues onwards and upwards, I could achieve that "retire by 50" goal that all my other upper management has. Sell out at the right time, invest appropriately, and don't be a fool.
*
I've been watching some random TED talks (and TEDx talks, 'cause you have to differentiate) online, about stuff that I should be interested in, and yet, I end up losing interest halfway through (they're typically less than 15-20 minutes, so...). I'm chalking it up to the fact that it's not that I'm not still interested in the topics they're discussing, or the speaker isn't interesting or captivating or whatever, it's that what they're talking about is something I just don't find interesting anymore.
Which disturbs me in a way, because these are things that ten years ago I would have been all over. But now, it's not that I'm saying Who Gives a Rat's Ass, but more like, yawn, Next!
On the other hand, maybe I am just watching crap TED videos.
*
The beauty of getting rid of your library of books is the ability to rebuild it according to what really mattered. Rediscovering books that made an impression on me 10-15 years ago is kinda fun, especially when I find them in a Goodwill or Salvation Army for essentially nothing. The key is to now find the collected works of Joseph Conrad in hardback from the 1920's...for less than $50.
*
this time is closer, and somehow, now, it's closer...
and somehow
it's not what i wanted
*
I forgot The Connells existed. I sometimes think that this song exists simply to remind me of how futile and pointless I felt about everything between 1999-2000.
*
As a complete side note, I think I need to re-read Vollmann's 13 Stories and 13 Epitaphs.
*
Just purchased the above, as well as Karl Edward Wagner's The Book Of Kane. Nothing like idiotic spending during late night hours. Haven't read 13 Stories in over ten years. The last copy of The Book of Kane that I knew of was stolen (hate to say it, but rightfully so)(not by me, but I did consider it...) from the Columbus Metropolitan Library sometime around 1996. I read and re-read that book at least twenty times over four years. They never saw fit to replace it, of course. KEW is the underappreciated direct heir of Robert E. Howard and Conan, and it pains me to know that he's essentially been swept into the dustbin of bad knockoffs.
*
I just about went into total geek/nerd/sci-fi/fantasy/deargodiknowiambutjustmakeitstop mode there. I could/would/should keep on going into the differences between Conan and Kane but I'm not, simply because who gives a fuck. Bonus: I never really cared for Conan, aside from the B&W comics that (I think) Marvel or some indie did during the '80s. They had good stories and lots of naked women. Mostly naked women. And stories. Good stories.
*
We'll pick this up later...
Cheers! Happy St. Paddys Day. And Fuck Ya'll for pretending you're Irish and you're not!
*
This isn't real life, I keep thinking to myself when I wake up every day. It seems strange to find myself in a place I never really thought about, ever. Working, liking to think I'm making a difference in some peoples lives when I can. Being a viable part of the economy.
I have random talks with my aunt, generally concerning how I feel I'm at the make or break point of life: I could continue down this path, and realistically, if I plan properly and the business I'm with continues onwards and upwards, I could achieve that "retire by 50" goal that all my other upper management has. Sell out at the right time, invest appropriately, and don't be a fool.
*
I've been watching some random TED talks (and TEDx talks, 'cause you have to differentiate) online, about stuff that I should be interested in, and yet, I end up losing interest halfway through (they're typically less than 15-20 minutes, so...). I'm chalking it up to the fact that it's not that I'm not still interested in the topics they're discussing, or the speaker isn't interesting or captivating or whatever, it's that what they're talking about is something I just don't find interesting anymore.
Which disturbs me in a way, because these are things that ten years ago I would have been all over. But now, it's not that I'm saying Who Gives a Rat's Ass, but more like, yawn, Next!
On the other hand, maybe I am just watching crap TED videos.
*
The beauty of getting rid of your library of books is the ability to rebuild it according to what really mattered. Rediscovering books that made an impression on me 10-15 years ago is kinda fun, especially when I find them in a Goodwill or Salvation Army for essentially nothing. The key is to now find the collected works of Joseph Conrad in hardback from the 1920's...for less than $50.
*
this time is closer, and somehow, now, it's closer...
and somehow
it's not what i wanted
*
I forgot The Connells existed. I sometimes think that this song exists simply to remind me of how futile and pointless I felt about everything between 1999-2000.
*
As a complete side note, I think I need to re-read Vollmann's 13 Stories and 13 Epitaphs.
*
Just purchased the above, as well as Karl Edward Wagner's The Book Of Kane. Nothing like idiotic spending during late night hours. Haven't read 13 Stories in over ten years. The last copy of The Book of Kane that I knew of was stolen (hate to say it, but rightfully so)(not by me, but I did consider it...) from the Columbus Metropolitan Library sometime around 1996. I read and re-read that book at least twenty times over four years. They never saw fit to replace it, of course. KEW is the underappreciated direct heir of Robert E. Howard and Conan, and it pains me to know that he's essentially been swept into the dustbin of bad knockoffs.
*
I just about went into total geek/nerd/sci-fi/fantasy/deargodiknowiambutjustmakeitstop mode there. I could/would/should keep on going into the differences between Conan and Kane but I'm not, simply because who gives a fuck. Bonus: I never really cared for Conan, aside from the B&W comics that (I think) Marvel or some indie did during the '80s. They had good stories and lots of naked women. Mostly naked women. And stories. Good stories.
*
We'll pick this up later...
Cheers! Happy St. Paddys Day. And Fuck Ya'll for pretending you're Irish and you're not!
posted by jersn at 4:05 AM
1 Comments:
The side note to purchasing The Book of Kane was that what was sent was mislabeled. And then still sent, with the label attached to the book, and cover, and...let's just say that it was all refunded, but for fuck's sake, I haven't been this stoked about anything in a long time and this was a pretty huge let down.
I've been wanting to re-read those stories for over a decade. FUCK.
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