hallelujah

and yes it is this late. i ask myself this non-question because...well, i guess we all break down at some point. i always find myself in the bathroom when this happens, and stare at myself across the void.

yet it's come to this...behind on everything, not because i'm short, i'm just too lazy to take care of this shit. i...just don't care. it's worse than a funk, it's...depression? i literally destroyed myself two nites ago, it was ugly, brutal, and completely unintentional...in public, and at home, and i'm still cleaning up the aftermath.

i just don't have the balls to do anything different anymore. downward spiral...i have no more, nothing to give. the birthday i've been anticipating since ten years past is finally coming up in 36 hours...half your parents age.

and i have nothing, am lost and wandering...

well, i did take out the trash and clean the bathroom sink...but still nothing.