but his laughing lady's loving

ain't the kind he can keep.

*

i keep trying to explain how i feel about her, how i've fallen before but never like this, how i've never wanted to wrap myself up in someone else like this. it's incapacitating, i want to help, not just myself but i want to help her, and i can't, i actually wrote down on paper that i would stay out of the way. and i'm doing my best, maintaining radio silence and not interfering, but it's hard, it's so incredibly hard to stay away and not know what's going on, how she's doing, just anything at all.

my brother says that i need to just leave it behind, "it's not like you were engaged or anything", but it's not that easy this time. i'm lost.