used to feel so much
now i just feel dumb.
*
what a crazy messed up day. i really did think i was losing my mind for a minute because i couldn't remember writing earlier. losing track of time is one thing but completely erasing the memory of doing something is up there with my h.s. senior class trip, which i had no recollection of for two years even though i was taking all the pictures.
the Columbus that i grew up in is gone, long gone and never to return. amazing to see what changes in only a couple years. entire street blocks that i used to ride my bike down when i was a kid are now green spaces. houses are different colors, buildings are gone or replaced. the giant red maple in front of the house i grew up in, a tree that my grandfather remembered walking by in the 1930's when he was going to school, it's gone.
it really is a foreign city, one that i have no connection to anymore. i really can't go home anymore, and i'm not naysaying progress, because a lot of this stuff needed to go, but there's nothing here for me anymore. time to move on. hopefully with my jaw closed rather than agap in shock.
*
got a text from the girl in madison tonight. took me 25 minutes to figure out what to send back, but haven't heard anything since. i swear i just want to run away from it all, leave it all behind, erase it permenently and pray that it never finds me again. it hurts so much.
*
what a crazy messed up day. i really did think i was losing my mind for a minute because i couldn't remember writing earlier. losing track of time is one thing but completely erasing the memory of doing something is up there with my h.s. senior class trip, which i had no recollection of for two years even though i was taking all the pictures.
the Columbus that i grew up in is gone, long gone and never to return. amazing to see what changes in only a couple years. entire street blocks that i used to ride my bike down when i was a kid are now green spaces. houses are different colors, buildings are gone or replaced. the giant red maple in front of the house i grew up in, a tree that my grandfather remembered walking by in the 1930's when he was going to school, it's gone.
it really is a foreign city, one that i have no connection to anymore. i really can't go home anymore, and i'm not naysaying progress, because a lot of this stuff needed to go, but there's nothing here for me anymore. time to move on. hopefully with my jaw closed rather than agap in shock.
*
got a text from the girl in madison tonight. took me 25 minutes to figure out what to send back, but haven't heard anything since. i swear i just want to run away from it all, leave it all behind, erase it permenently and pray that it never finds me again. it hurts so much.
posted by jersn at 11:25 PM
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