there is something else there
when all that you had has all gone
*
we're looking at pictures, my grandmother and i. Every time I see these people I say to myself when did you get so old? she says, But then I look in the mirror and have to realize that I'm old too, even though I don't feel it. I'm 89 next month, and I'd hate to be young again, but it's so hard sometimes, getting older.
*
i've always been able to talk with my grandmother like we're just two regular people. that's not to say that the family relationship wasn't there, it's that we can just talk like normal human beings about anything. one of the last times i talked with the x's mom before she died we talked about how it's hard for sons, daughters, the younger generation, to move beyond the familial relationship and just learn to relate and talk to their parents (grandparents, brothers, sisters, etc) like their friends. don't spare details, don't dance around things, just talk like they're your friend.
*
it's all good and bad. things are progressing slowly in regards to Charlotte, but i'm finally talking to the corporate people so it's moving ahead. they want me there for a couple days the week of the 24th. if it goes well i suppose i could be down there for good around this time next month. to be honest i want this to happen sooner than later. i've always been able to pull myself out of breakups by throwing myself into work, and not having it right now is sucking the life right out of my bones. not that i truly want to do anything right now but sleep forever...
and as far as that goes, i usually wake up in a funk but am able to pull myself out of it in a few hours. but it still hurts. doesn't help that for every day of sunshine there are three that are cold, gray and rainy. nice to see i brought that aspect of wisconsin with me here.
*
we're looking at pictures, my grandmother and i. Every time I see these people I say to myself when did you get so old? she says, But then I look in the mirror and have to realize that I'm old too, even though I don't feel it. I'm 89 next month, and I'd hate to be young again, but it's so hard sometimes, getting older.
*
i've always been able to talk with my grandmother like we're just two regular people. that's not to say that the family relationship wasn't there, it's that we can just talk like normal human beings about anything. one of the last times i talked with the x's mom before she died we talked about how it's hard for sons, daughters, the younger generation, to move beyond the familial relationship and just learn to relate and talk to their parents (grandparents, brothers, sisters, etc) like their friends. don't spare details, don't dance around things, just talk like they're your friend.
*
it's all good and bad. things are progressing slowly in regards to Charlotte, but i'm finally talking to the corporate people so it's moving ahead. they want me there for a couple days the week of the 24th. if it goes well i suppose i could be down there for good around this time next month. to be honest i want this to happen sooner than later. i've always been able to pull myself out of breakups by throwing myself into work, and not having it right now is sucking the life right out of my bones. not that i truly want to do anything right now but sleep forever...
and as far as that goes, i usually wake up in a funk but am able to pull myself out of it in a few hours. but it still hurts. doesn't help that for every day of sunshine there are three that are cold, gray and rainy. nice to see i brought that aspect of wisconsin with me here.
posted by jersn at 12:35 PM
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