what good is a used up world

and how could it be worth having

*

confidence is nice, especially when you don't have it for so long. not that things are great yet, or even good, but at least there seems to be progress on the work side of things. spoke for over 75 minutes with the southern AD this morning and it went swimmingly well. looks like a sure thing that i'll be down in Charlotte for a few days in a week, just to look things over and do the meet and greet with people. just wish there was a way to get this all done faster. i'm truly tired of waiting for life to begin again, i just want to get back in the thick of things and move on.

*

i feel these dreams, nightmares, whatever you want to call them, are going to be here for a bit. always with these hateful, angry words that go through my unconscious, and i wake up every morning with a sense of dreadful loss, my head muddled and confused and already tired again.

You don't know how to let go, she says, And until you do you shouldn't even think about being in a relationship.

it's exhausting